Hashers, Meet the Hashers.....
StumpSlayer
1 What's something about yourself that
you hope will change, but that probably never will?
2 What world-changing event would you
like to take credit for?
Elimination of poverty. Each of us
has the means and resource, just not the will.
3 Name one celebrity that has no right being a celebrity.
Danielynn Smith
4 What's something you've won and how did you win it?
Third Place in my age group at the Take
Pride in Your Hide 5k nudie run, held last Saturday in July. If more
of my peers die off, I might conceivably win a Second or (gasp) a First
Place! Registration is now open: http://www.bar-s-ranch.com
5 What room in your house best reflects your personality?
The Storyville Room, named after the infamous redlight district of New Orleans, Louisiana from 1897 through 1917. It is a work in progress. It is, of course, a bedroom, and decor started with two giant red velvet lamps with red prisms, and (as soon as I can find it) red-flocked wallpaper, and red curtains and ceiling drapes (I took the mirror off the ceiling, because I kept seeing a crack in it). I've got a dozen framed burlesque pictures from the 1920's and 30's to hang, as soon as I figure out the wallpaper.
6 What is your favorite part of the human body (male or female) Why?
Pancreas. Because I can't
think of anything that rhymes with pancreas. Charlotte or Charleston
H3 once threw a "Come as Jeffery Dahlmer's Favorite Body Part."
I tied a iron skillet to my belt, so it was behind me. I was a
"Pan (cre) ass." No body got it...
7 What group of people are you most offended by?
Henny Pennys of the world. Those
who are convinced the sky is falling, because "A piece of it just hit me on
the head!" If you don't understand the reference, ask som 3rd grader. Henny
Penny also thinks hashers put cocaine in street gutters and anthrax in shopping
malls.
8 If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
De-emphasize
organized sports. Disorgainzed sports are funner.
9 Do you collect anything? What? How many do you have?
Art books... how to's, and examples of
fantasy art. 40-50
10 On a scale from 1-10, how would you
rate your health?
About an 8; I should work on making it
better.
11 If you could pick two people to be
stranded with on a desert island, who would they be?
Two boat builders.
12 If you were to have cosmetic surgery, what part of your body would you want
operated on?
I need a bellybuttonectomy.
Probably within the year. I've been putting it off, because I'm
afraid of guys in masks with knives. This is true fact.
13 Did you go to summer camp as a kid? What was the experience like?
Yes, great times. I almost
drowned. I was deafened for about an hour - I was blowing on a fire to get
it going, when some girl threw a firecracker into it. In spite of
all that, I still like camping!
14 What's something you should throw away, but can't? Explain.
Old shoes. I wear 'em till they
just about fall apart, and then, I complain about how my knees hurt. I'm
more frugal than a Scotsman.
15 How do you get rid of pesky phone calls from telemarketers?
I answer the phone, "Hello -
Mary's House!"
I have this uncanny ability to sense a
telemarketer, especially when he asks for Mr Schultz, or The Owner, or The
Person Who is In Charge of Financial Decisions. None of those guys are
ever home! I always ask if I can take a message, and the caller from
Bombay usually just promises to call back
later. He never does.
WARNING: Rarely, it turns out that
I really did want to talk to the caller. I then disguise my voice, and
pretend that I'm me. Since I've practiced being me a lot lately, I can be
extremely convincing.
16 Did you ever sneak out of the house as a kid? For what? Ever get caught?
It was the last Saturday in June. I was
15, I think. I wanted firecrackers for Independance Day. I snuck out
before dawn, and rode my bicycle to South of the Border via I-95. Cops
don't like bicycles on I-95. I spent all my money for fireworks, and
almost died of thirst on the ride back... remember, it's almost the 4th of July!
At one point, I drank fetid stagnant
water under a bridge over a swamp. My BoyScount training said that I could
die of disease from drinking nasty water; my animal instinct said that I would
die of thirst from not drinking it, and I figured I could treat any disease if I
could only get back to the house.
Yeah, I got caught, but my parents
marvelled at my survival, so that got me off the hook. (ps..I didn't die
of disease.)
17 What is the one mistake that no one will let you forget?
I once went to a funeral... a coat and
tie affair, and neglected to take the coat hanger out of the coat. It was sticking
out of the collar. I'm neat, but NOT that neat.
18 What were you teased about when you were younger?
My own ineptness in the game Basketball.
I still hate that game.
19 Have you ever used toys during sex, if not, would you?
Yes. In that sex is adult play,
what is not a toy?...hottubs, rope, cameras, harley davidson, and clothespins (
this could be a very long list) all fit the bill.
20 If you could have a lover be your slave for the day, what would you have them
do?
A. Paint my house!
B. Give me a bath, cat style.
Think Momma Cat to Kitten... It would take most of the day, I bet.